The Seventh Sense

Independent Cinema Coming To Winston-Salem

About time, too.

I heard it on the local NPR this morning.  A new arts cinema is opening -- 2 screens, 160 seats, beer, wine, and a whole bunch of movies you’ve probably never heard of -- all in downtown Winston-Salem.

It's called Aperture Cinema and as the video shows, it's coming together fast....

Their first showings are scheduled for January 2010.  They'll be showing A Town Called Panic...

and New York, I Love You...

More details here.

Time, Please Define "Mattered"

It's that time of year when Time magazine comes out with its "Person of The Year" accolade, usually to much guffawing and consternation.  And to be honest, the Time award thing really has gone downhill since I won it in 2006.

So Time chose Ben Bernake this year, which is a fine choice, to the extent that he embodies the whole economic crisis thing.  Sure a hell of a lot better than any of the four runners-up, which included -- for real -- Usain Bolt.

So I won't take issue with Bernake.  What truly struck me was the list that Time compiled of the 25 "People Who Mattered" in 2009.  I have no idea what makes Time think some of these people "mattered".  I'm talking about Adam Lambert, "The Twitter Guys", John and Kate Gosselin, Jay Leno and David Letterman, Taylor Swift, among others.  I mean, I can give a pass to Glenn Beck -- I guess he "mattered" in these sense that he weighed heavily in the national dialogue, albeit in a destructive and silly way.  But those others?  Really?

Fortunately, Time readers seem to have a better bead on what "matters", more so than the Time editors.

Glee Get Menzel

Well, they had Chenowith, so.... why not?  She'll be portraying the coach of McKinley High's rival glee club Vocal Adrenaline.

How To Be Nicole Scherzinger (The Middle Judge In "The Sing-Off")

1. If the singing group is all women, be sure to say they were "sassy but classy".  In fact, say it two or three times.  Unless, of course they weren't, in which case you tell them that you wished they could have been more "sassy" and/or "classy"
2. Make a reference to the fashion of the era of the song.  For example, if they sing something from the fifties, say how much you wanted to put on bobbie socks and go shagging.  If they sing something from the seventies, say how much you wanted to don an afro and boogie down on the disco floor.
3. Song titles are easy to incorporate in your criticism, because you can figure out in advance what you will say.  For example, if they sing "Come Sail Away", then you can say how they really did take you on a boat ride.  If the song title has any fire or heat references, you can tell them how HOT (get it?) they were.  Puns, as we all know, are a sure-fire audience-pleaser. 
4. Similarly, always tell that Latino group that they "took you" to Puerto Rico.  They never get tired of hearing that.
5. Don't invite comparisons between you and Paula Abdul.  For example, show up sober.
6. Don't engage in any legitimate music criticism as if you were someone scholared in serious music theory.  Ben Folds will show you up and own your ass.  Come to think of it, so will the Boyz To Men dude.  Let's face it -- you wouldn't know a tonic note from a gin-and-tonic, so just stick to how the song made you feel, because nobody can dispute your feelings. 
7. "You rock" works too, whether you say it once or twenty times.  If you're comfortable with the idea, you can modify the phrase a little, as in "you guys rock" or "you were really rockin'".
8. But be sure to leave the really hip language ("that was fly", "that was dope") to the Boyz To Men dude.  He can get away with it better than you can.
9. A little self-promotion of the Pussycat Dolls here and there won't bother anybody.  God knows you need it.
10. If you want to sound clever, refer to it as someone's "instrument", not as someone's "voice".  As in, "Melanie, you have a lovely instrument and it rocked".  I know that's confusing because we're incessantly reminded that there are no instruments (really, there aren't any at all), but in this limited instance, it's okay to use that word.
11. Other phrases that work, provided that Ben Folds or the Boyz To Men dude don't say them first, include: "You made it all your own", "You deserve to be here", "You're already winners", "This is what a cappella is all about", and "I can't believe there weren't any instruments".  Note that these phrases also work particularly well when you want to say something nice following a less-than-stellar performance. 
12. You can also eat up your alotted time by adding "...am I right, audience?" to any of those phrases mentioned above.  It's a virtual lock that 5 to 10 seconds of audience applause and "woots" will follow.  Just be sure not to start off your criticism with "Am I right, audience" -- it has to come after you've used one of those phrases.

I've been a fan of college a cappella for the last ten years.  Of course, I was a fan of the Bubs when I was at Tufts (it's required).  It was an interesting time in the evolution of college a cappella.  The Bubs were already considered the best a cappella group among the New England college circuit (and in New England, there's a college every half mile, so that's saying something).  But during the time I was at Tufts, the Bubs were taking the genre to a different level. 

Prior to that time, most of the college a cappella groups, the Bubs included, had a repertoire that included traditional standards.  The most "contemporary" anybody got was "Happy Together".  The Bubs had already infused their act with humor and charm, which already set them apart from, say, the stale Yale Whiffenpoofs, but during the time I was there, they started adding movement and contemporary songs.  Marti, a friend of mine, was the Bub president, and I remember him talking about doing "Thriller", something unheard of.  And not just the song, but the dance as well.  He did it, and it was a hit not only at Tufts but at other campuses where the Bubs toured.  And that set the standard for the next couple decades (I worked with the Bubs on stage movement here and there).

But once I graduated, I never paid much attention to college a cappella until about ten years ago when I happened to hear the Bubs's studio recording of "Owner of A Lonely Heart".  And the innovation there was the "mouth percussion" which added a whole new dimension.  There was also overdubbing and a few electronic tricks which made the studio recordings simply unbeleiveable.  I doubt this was a Bubs innovation, but I dug in a little more and realized that most college a cappella groups were doing, and the sound was amazing.  And soon my iPod was full of the stuff.

I've always wondered what the reaction would be if college a cappella went mainstream, so I'm happy for "The Sing-Off".  Of course, that show embraces all kinds of a cappella, not just the "contemporary college" kind.  But I am glad to see it is out there.  And I'm glad to see that the Bubs are still considered among the best of the bunch.  There's a lot of good groups out there.  The Socal Vocals (not to be confused with their alumni group, which is on the Sing-Off) is consistently good.  University of Michigan always has a good sound in the co-ed category.  For all-women's groups, the UNC Loreleis actually is a fairly strong group.  BU's Dear Abbeys, an all-male group, is currently my favorite.

The problem with ALL these groups, and The Sing-Off's presentation of them, is that they simply cannot replicate LIVE what they do in the studio, where overdubbing and remixing ensures a pitch perfect end-product.  But for those who are curious, iTunes and many websites have good samplings of outstanding recordings.

The Sing-Off

As a Tufts alumni and fan of a cappella, I was eager to see The Sing Off and I wasn't disappointed.

But I didn't think it was necessary for the host to mention several times that the competitors were singing without instruments.  Even if I didn't know what a cappella meant, I would have figured that out within the first few minutes of the show.

The Red Balloon(s)

There's a military experiment taking place tomorrow, and we're the guinea pigs.  All of us.

At 10 am tomorrow, DARPA, which stands for Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (the U.S. military's research arm) will release ten large red weather balloons at ten different points somewhere in the United States:

"They're not going to be out in the middle of nowhere," [DARPA spokewoman Johanna] Jones said. "They're going to be near places where there is traffic."

She said the balloons will be tethered and will remain aloft for at least six hours. Each will be accompanied by a DARPA representative.

Why?  Well, it's a study about social networking:

The DARPA Network Challenge calls on groups to pinpoint the locations of 10 red weather balloons scattered around the country -- with a $40,000 prize going to the first team to find them all.....

This year's contest is designed to test the the way social networking, crowdsourcing or lesser-known Web-based techniques can help accomplish a large-scale, time-critical task.

More information (and registration for the contest) here.

DARPA, by the way, created the Internet, which turned 40 years old this year.

 

So if you see a red balloon, and start hearing about them on the intertubes, don't panic.  It's just our military messing with you.

UPDATE:  Okay, I joined a team: the MIT Red Balloon Challenge Team.  Yeah.  Can't go wrong with MIT.

Of course, I'm of little use to them unless there is a red balloon in the area.  So let me know if you see one.  In fact, join the team, and maybe win some money.

"Don't Text Your Junk": James Lipton

The idea of teenagers sexting is disconcerting, but so is this anti-sexting public service announcement starring The Actor's Studio's James Lipton, in which he invokes the phrase "junk"... 

There's a lot more like this, i.e.:

RELATED --  MSNBC takes a closer look at sexting today:

More than a quarter of young people have been involved in sexting in some form, an Associated Press-MTV poll found.

Changing One's Facebook Info To "Married".... While AT The Altar

Cute:

He also twittered, too.  Here's his tweet:

 

White House Crashers

First balloon boy, now the White House crashers -- seems people will do anything to get on reality TV.

Can't we just outlaw the practice of trying to make yourself a media sensation?

Or better yet, can't we just make reality TV illegal?

UPDATE:  Some depressing stats and thoughts from the New York Times --

Once you throw in the ever-expanding club of reality alumni, and account for shows that go through several rounds in a year, it is clear that a near army of non-professionals has been tramping through prime time starting almost a decade ago, when CBS introduced “Survivor” to television and lit the fuse that became the reality explosion. Considering the whole reality universe, then, 1,000 sounds like an undercount.

Ten thousand, anyone?

The numbers are not likely to shrink soon, not as long as all these networks need programs and don’t want to pay for actors. That’s if viewers keep watching. Ratings for reality are not what they once were, but no ratings in television are. The likelihood is that the programmers will keep running out these shows until either the ideas or the viewers are exhausted, whichever comes first.

It's not even "fame" anymore to be a reality star.  So why do people pursue it?

"Last Night On Twisted River"

How was I not aware of a new John Irving book?

It's supposed to be a throwback to his earlier "better" books.  Best since Owen Meany and all that.

Set in New Hampshire?  Check

Absent parent?  Check

Wrestling?  Check

A gruesome accident?  Check

Bears?  Check

Spans several decades?  Check

No Vienna though.

Word Of The Year Announced

Oxford University Press, who edits and publishes the Oxford English Dictionary (the source of all words English) and the New Oxford American Dictionary, has announced its "word of the year" for 2009:

unfriend – verb – To remove someone as a ‘friend’ on a social networking site such as Facebook.

As in, “I decided to unfriend my roommate on Facebook after we had a fight.”

“It has both currency and potential longevity,” notes Christine Lindberg, Senior Lexicographer for Oxford’s US dictionary program. “In the online social networking context, its meaning is understood, so its adoption as a modern verb form makes this an interesting choice for Word of the Year. Most “un-” prefixed words are adjectives (unacceptable, unpleasant), and there are certainly some familiar “un-” verbs (uncap, unpack), but “unfriend” is different from the norm. It assumes a verb sense of “friend” that is really not used (at least not since maybe the 17th century!).

Follow the link to see what other words were considered for the 2009 edition of the New Oxford American Dictionary ("tramp stamp", "death panel", "teabagger", "birther", etc.)

"The Sound Of Music" Turns 50

Fifty years ago today, The Sound of Music opened on Broadway at the Lunt-Fontanne Theatre.

Odd. I had a dream about that show (sort of) this weekend.

Did you know that Christopher Plummer didn't like working in the film, calling it "The Sound of Mucus"? He even detested singing the song 'Edelweiss,' calling it "schmaltzy."

'Edelweiss' was the last song written by Oscar Hammerstein (it was written for the movie).

I'm Going To Go Out On A Limb...

.... and conclude that Elizabeth Taylor liked the new Michael Jackson film.  Just a hunch.

Facebook Can't Leave Well Enough Alone, Preserves The Deceased

(1)  This annoying live feed thing can be "fixed" with a little workaround.  Simply click and drag your "status updates" on that lefthand column, and place it above the "news feeds".  Facebook will now appear close to what it was before.

(2)  Facebook is now urging you to "reconnect" with your friends that you haven't interacted with in a while.  Why?  Why is it any of Facebook's business?  This isn't going over too well, by the way:

On Twitter, a storm of complaints and jokes popped up about the Reconnect feature, such as user jessefarmer, who wrote, “‘Facebook’s “reconnect with him’ feature just recommended I write on a dead friend’s wall.” User KenHuffman tweeted, “Facebook is suggesting that I reconnect with my wife by writing on her wall. I’m thinking coming home every night is a tad more effective,” while Jweiler wrote, “OH: The new “reconnect” feature on Facebook could be renamed “Unfriend Suggestion.”

(3)  And speaking of the dead on Facebook, Facebook clarified its "dead person" policy yesterday -- they will leave their page and profile up, upon request:

Obviously, we wanted to be able to model people's relationships on Facebook, but how do you deal with an interaction with someone who is no longer able to log on? When someone leaves us, they don't leave our memories or our social network. To reflect that reality, we created the idea of "memorialized" profiles as a place where people can save and share their memories of those who've passed.

***

When an account is memorialized, we also set privacy so that only confirmed friends can see the profile or locate it in search. We try to protect the deceased's privacy by removing sensitive information such as contact information and status updates. Memorializing an account also prevents anyone from logging into it in the future, while still enabling friends and family to leave posts on the profile Wall in remembrance.

If you have a friend or a family member whose profile should be memorialized, please contact us, so their memory can properly live on among their friends on Facebook.

Nice touch, I guess.

Return To Oz

Seventy years ago, the Wizard of Oz was released.

Five surviving munchkins from “The Wizard of Oz” sat down recently, dressed in their full munchkin garb, to sing songs and remember the glory days. One of them fell asleep during the chat.

2012

Critics are already panning the disaster epic "2012", coming out in November as "over the top" and "laughably over the top" and "ridiculously over the top".  Here's a trailer and an extended scene:

Yeah, I can't imagine why it might be called "over the top".

Still, with Oliver Platt, it has at least one redeeming quality.

Letterman's Confession

Image via Wikipedia

I'm fairly sure it is none of our business who David Letterman had sex with.  But he told us anyway.  He didn't have to; the guy who was blackmailing him was arrested.

Still, you don't see this kind of honest very much, delivered with humility, candor and humor.  Interesting TV.  Slate calls it a “deeply personal, bizarre monologue.”

From a PR standpoint, Letterman handled this perfectly.  He has a deep resrvoir of good will with the public, and he dipped into it, delivering a glib retelling of the extortion attempt and his "bad behavior" that led up to it.

The extortionist, CBS said, is an employee of the CBS show "48 Hours" named Robert J. Halderman.  He was "let go" by CBS yesterday.

UPDATE:  One of the female employees Letterman had a sexual affair with was named Stephanie Burkitt.  She's a New Hampshire native and a Wake Forest graduate (she's following me!).  She made some on-air appearances for The Late Show.  That relationship ended in 2003, before David's child was born (and before David married the child's mother).  Burkitt later became involved with the Halderman, who apparently accessed Burkitt's diary, and got the goods on Letterman.  Burkitt is apparently "mortified" that Halderman would have done something like that.

UPDATE:  There's a lot of crowing from conservative blogs about Dave Letterman, who, as a late-night talk show host, has had his share of laughs about other people's sex scandals -- people like David Vitter and Larry "Wide Stance" Craig and Governor Mark Sanford.  I'm not sure the comparisons are the same. 

For one thing, David Vitter and Larry Craig and Mark Sanford ran for office as politicians esposing "family values".  David Letterman never claimed to be a "family values" champion.  He certainly can't tag him as being a "moral hypocrite".

Secondly, I'm not sure where there "sex scandal" lies here.  There's no evidence to suggest that Letterman, who got married six months ago, cheated on his wife, unlike the objects of Letterman's jokes about past sex scandals of others.  He was, at the time of these "bad" things, a single man.  I don't think single men with girlfriends should cheat on those girlfriends, but I don't think it rises to the level of marital infidelity.  And for all we know, Letterman may have carried on these trysts when he wasn't involved with someone (he had an on-and-off relationship with his current wife for many years).

The only real allegation of true immorality comes from the fact that Letterman apparently slept with co-workers, and apparently subordinates.  To my mind, this is rather low on the list of sins.  Yes, such behavior could involve power plays and the subordination of women, all of which are inappropriate office behavior.  But it doesn't automatically mean this happened in this case.  Isn't it possible that these women were mature consenting adults, and they received no benefit/promotion (or punishment/demotion) from their liasons with David Letterman?  Is there any evidence -- any whatsover -- of this?

The story here is that Letterman was involved in "sex scandals".  The story here is that Letterman was the victim of extortion.

My Take On Roman Polanski

Yes, the 13 year old victim, now in her 40's, has long since forgiven him.

Yes, the victim's mother at the time was apparently some freaked out fame wannabe, and put her daughter in that position.

Yes, it was a long time ago.

Yes, he's famous.

But here's the thing.  A crime is a crime.  He committed a crime.  He pled gulity to it, before he fled.  That's all that matters.  And crimes, by the way, are crimes against the state (that's why criminal cases are typical title "The People versus Joe Smith"), so it doesn't matter what the victim says now.

And it doesn't matter how long ago it happened (no statute of limitations once you've pled guilty).

And it certainly doesn't matter that he makes movies.

TLC Math

(Jon and Kate Plus 8) - Jon = Kate Plus 8

Too Soon?

UPDATE... it's a meme!

  

Kanye West Is A Dick

Here's how it went down:

Okay, that's a spoof (the real video is embargoed).

UPDATE:  Okay, here it is fo' riz-eal:

MTV Shows

Here's some info from Dickopedia.  Kanye aparrently has award show issues:

• In 2006 West lost Best Video at the MTV Europe Awards and, with the grace and class we’ve come to expect from him, jumped on stage saying, “Fuck dis! (My video) cost a million dollars, Pamela Anderson was in it, I was jumping across canyons and shit.”

• After the Grammy nominations were released that year, West said he would "really have a problem" if he didn't win “Album of the Year.” He lost, but miraculously managed to stay in his seat.

• The release of West's 2007 album, "Graduation," was preceded by another now-famous outburst at the MTV awards where, backstage, he was seen shouting, “Give a black man a chance!” "Graduation" was released on September 11th, because nothing commemorates a national tragedy like a song called “Drunk and Hot Girls.”

• At the 2009 VMAs, singer Taylor Swift beat out Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Kelly Clarkson, Pink and Beyonce to win the award for Best Female Video, Kanye West stormed the stage, took her microphone, and said Beyonce had been robbed. "Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time!" He screamed about her "Single Ladies" performance. Beyonce, of course, won Video of the Year, and had West waited til the end of the show to freak the hell out he might have seen that.

The Beatles Officially Jump The Shark Tomorrow

That's when The Beatles: Rock Band is released.  Now kids all over the world can ruin masterpieces... right at home!

On the other hand, the remastered recordings of the entire Beatles catalogue are out tommorrow, too.

UPDATE:  Well, not the entire catalogue.  For instance, did you know that, impossible as it may sound there are still Beatles songs unreleased?  True – the most notable ones being Carnival of Light (an experimental piece recorded on 5 January 1967 for The Million Volt Light and Sound Rave) and a 27-minute jam of Helter Skelter. A John Lennon composition the three surviving Beatles worked on in the early ’90s prior to the Anthology release called Grow Old with Me also remains unreleased.

The United States of Sin

Gee, the Bible Belt dosn't fare too well:

Trumbo

Here's the sum total of what I knew about Dalton Trumbo before yesterday:

1. He wrote "Johnny Got His Gun", which was one of the first grown-up books I ever read.
2. He was one of the "Hollywood Ten" who got blacklisted because he refused to name names.
3. He wrote the screenplays to "Spartacus" and "Papillon".

Last night on PBS, the American Mastersseries ran a documentary about Trumbo (called "Trumbo"), and it was a rare delight.  If you can catch a rebroadcast, do it.

The documentary tells Trumbo's story about his fight with HUAC (which he lost), his time in jail, the impact of the blacklist on him and his family, and his resurrection.  Although archival footage and interviews are used, much of Trumbo's story is told through the letters he wrote (read by such people as Michael Douglas, Liam Neeson, Dustin Hoffman, Nathan Lane, David Straithorn, Paul Giamatti, Joan Allen, Donald Sutherland, and others).

Trumbo was a man who was at once charming and curmudgeonly.  He had a very dry, and cutting, wit.

In other words, the dude could write.  Even his private letters (the ones "performed" by the actors above) had a Shakespearean eloquence.

Follow this linkto see the reading of Trumbo's letter to the telephone company (performed by Paul Giamatti).

And that ain't nothing compared to Nathan Lane's reading of a letter Trumbo wrote to his son, in which Trumbo recommends two books: one about poker, and one entitled "Sex Without Guilt".  The latter book becomes a humorous yet eloquent soliloquy on the virtues of, uh, self-pleasure:

Film-Friendly North Carolina

As a follow-up to this post, I'm glad to see that Gov. Perdue signed SB 943 hours ago.  North Carolina now offers 25% tax credit to qualifying film productions which shoot here (effective January 1) 

Dude Looks Like A (Little Old) Lady

Man, Steven Tyler has not aged well:

District 9

I'm not one for summer blockbusters anymore.

I'm old enough to see the cliches, the clunky plot expositions, the cookie-cutter charactors -- all designed to show-off yet another gee-whiz battle sequence or demolition of another American city and/or landmark.  I think it was during "Independence Day" when I crossed over.  A fun movie, but really -- outside of the SFX, who cared?  Did we really care about Will Smith's relationship with what's-her-name?

District 9, I'm told, is a movie which actually has charactors and a signficiant story.  And, oh yeah -- aliens and great SFX.  That seems to me what the best science fiction should be -- not just cool things exploding, but an allegorical message and a story that can't be summarized in ten words.

Count me in.

How Long Was Bill Murray Trapped In The Time Loop In Groundhog Day

8 years, 8 months, and 16 days.

Remember, he had to learn how to get good at throwing cards into a top hat, become an expert ice sculptor, play the piano expertly, etc.

Are Your Facebook Friend Suggestions Creeping You Out?

Seems that Facebook did some little tweaks lately, so you're more like than before to get that ex (and his/her new beau) as a freind suggestion.

Paying To Read Online News?

The editor of the Financial Times, Lionel Barber, has predicted that "almost all" news organizations will start invoking some pay-as-you-go scheme for reading their content.  Rupert Murdoch has declared that all News Corp newspapers will be charging online by the end of the year, but as yet no concrete moves seem to have been made.

Others aren't as pessimistic.

From a business standpoint, the Internet has killed the print media, and newspapers need to come up with a better business model to survive (advertisements on online versions of newspapers just don't cut it).

From a consumer standpoint, this is of course not very welcome news.

New Michael Jackson Recording

Because Michael Jackson's death was premature, there exist a catalogue of unreleased new MJ songs.  Expect a steady stream of them.

Here's the first "new" song.  I use the word "new" advisedly, because the song -- “A Place Without No Name” -- is clearly built on the America classic "A Horse With No Name".

So far, only a snippet of "A Place with No Name" has been released.  It's not particularly memorable, unless you remember the America classic.

Plus it's got that rather annoying double negative.

Starbucks Goes For Anti-Starbucks Demographic

15th Avenue Coffee and Tea, located in Seattle, isn't an independent neighborhood coffee shop.  It's a Starbucks.

Be on the lookout....

Michael Jackson Pepsi Accident

I had seen a grainy photograph or two of the accident back in 1984 when Michael Jackson burnt his hair shooting a Pepsi commercial.  I guess I always wonder why, if they were filming, there was never actual video.

Well, there is.  Us Weekly got a hold of it.  They've edited it and added some scary music, but you can clearly see what happened.

It was much scarier than I thought it was at the time.  Dude burnt his hair off down to the scalp.

This is an especially historic piece of film in the sense that the accident led to MJ's use of painkillers, which eventually done him in.  In other words, this is the beginning of the end.

What Kind Of Facebook Friend Are You?

The 13 Types of Facebook Friends, as idientified by Mental Floss:

A) The Overzealous Updater

This is the friend who can’t go half a day without sharing What’s On His Mind. Honestly people. We really don’t need to know that you’ve just had your second shower of the day. For that matter, we didn’t need to hear about the first one either.

B) The Link-bot

This is the friend who does nothing but share links all day. Links to articles he’s read that he thinks the whole world should be reading, links to movie reviews, links to new games coming on the market, links to his Twitter page where he’s gone and posted 10 more links. There needs to be a limit. Some links are good, especially when they send people to this blog. But let’s impose a 2-link-max rule per day, what do you say?

C) The Groupie

This is the friend who has joined more groups than Marcia Brady did that one year in high school when she was overcommitted and frazzled. Asian Americans in Israel who Support Diplomacy with Iran? Really?

D) I Am My Kids

This is the friend who only uses Facebook to post photos of the little ones, or updates that read: “Tommy didn’t feel well today, so he stayed home from school.” Might as well not even have your own profile, just create one for the kid(s), no?

E) Spies (who used to) Like Us

This is the Ex who only friends you so s/he can spy on you and make sure you have fewer friends that s/he does, and that your new significant other is less attractive than s/he was.

F) The Wanna-Be

This is the person who friends someone with the great hope of becoming friends with that person in real life, be it a minor celeb, or just someone the Wanna-Be really admires from a slight distance.

G) The Two-facer

This is the friend who accepts your friend request just to be polite, but then Hides your updates immediately. Unfortunately, you have no idea who the two-facers are.

H) The Networker

This is the friend whose main purpose on Facebook is to build a list he can tap when he needs to for work/career. You know these friends because they only message you with e-mails that read “So you still over at Viacom?”

I) The OverPoker

No need to explain this one, right?

J) The Get-A-Lifer

This is the hardcore friend who has nothing better to do but subscribe and follow you via SMS.

K) The Attention Seeker*

This is the friend who posts status updates that are purposely vague, and therefore beg for a comment. Their status is all about getting you to respond, getting attention, getting sympathy. “Lori is scared, but hopes everything works out…” [*sent to me by my friend Dawn, who is definately an M... see below]

L) The Over Suggester

Just stop. Okay? Let me figure out who I want to be friends with, okay? Honestly.

M) The Good Friend

This is the friend who mercifully doesn’t fit in any of the above categories and is, hopefully, just one of many normal, average facebookers you’ve friended. Let’s hear it for the Good Friend!

Fortunately, I think I'm a good friend as are most of my Facebook friends.

Say It Ain't So

Jenna Fischer gets engaged.

Page One News: The Dirth of Dialogue In Porn Movies

Is it April Fool's Day?  Is this article (which appears on Page 1 of the New York Times print edition) a joke?

It's about adult film actresses complaining that porno movies don't contain plot and dialogue anymore.

Rrrrrright.  You just don't see that high-minded Beckett-esque literary quality in adult films anymore -- nothing comparable to that found in the classics of yesteryear like Veronica Unleashed Meets Cass the Pool Boy IV.

Paris

I've never seen picture of Michael Jackson's kids (except when their being dangled from balconies with a blanket over their heads).

I never thought MJ was particularly good-looking, neither pre- nor post- plastic surgeries.  But his kids?  They're pretty good-looking, especially Paris.  Very striking features.  If she's got talent, I think we're looking at a superstar for the 2020's.

OTHER JACKSON-RELATED NEWS:  He's going to be buried without a brain.

I think there's a joke to be made there.

Happy Birthday, Walkman

Yup.  The Sony Walkman turns 30 years old this week.  Which is relatively young for something that's... well.... dead.

In this article, a 13-year-old turns in his iPod to spend a week with a Walkman.  Guess which one he ended up preferring?

My friends couldn't imagine their parents using this monstrous box, but there was interest in what the thing was and how it worked.

In some classes in school they let me listen to music and one teacher recognised it and got nostalgic.

It took me three days to figure out that there was another side to the tape. That was not the only naive mistake that I made; I mistook the metal/normal switch on the Walkman for a genre-specific equaliser, but later I discovered that it was in fact used to switch between two different types of cassette.

NC Senate Passes Film Incentives

Good news:

The movie industry got a step closer to better tax treatment in North Carolina as the state Senate on Wednesday approved a bill on a party line vote 27-17 to increase tax credits for qualifying expenses to 25 percent. It still has to be approved by the House before it is implemented, though.

Sweetening the incentive pot for the motion picture companies came to the forefront in recent weeks after the state lost out to Georgia for the production of “The Last Song,” which is based on the novel by Nicholas Sparks.

North Carolina’s present incentive of 15 percent has not kept up with the escalation other states have offered. Georgia’s package of incentives includes a 30 percent credit, and that has helped that state attract numerous productions that otherwise may have landed in North Carolina. North Carolina and Georgia were the finalists to produce “The Last Song,” but it went to the Peach State after the revenue officials here ruled that certain expenses would not qualify.

Opponents of the bill tried one final time to amend the bill and place a hard cap on the total amount of tax credit the state could offer in a year. That amendment also failed on a party line vote.

Sen. Julia Boseman, D-New Hanover, called the amendment bad policy because movie companies wouldn’t consider North Carolina if they were about to bump up against a tax credit cap.

“Movie companies wouldn’t come here if they knew they couldn’t get the tax credit,” Boseman said. “The movie industry can have a positive impact on the state because of the type of jobs it brings to the state.”

Sen. David Hoyle, D-Gaston, spoke in favor of the bill and explained how small businesses have benefited from being hired by production companies.

“In my area, there are a lot of commercials produced and when the production companies come here and contract with small businesses, those dollars are spent locally,” Hoyle said. “They’re hiring carpenters, electricians. Those jobs are easier to hire locally. It means a lot.”

How the tax credit fits into the final state budget picture remains unclear. It could be taken up as a separate issue by the House or it could just be rolled into the final state budget bill. By passing the Senate, it definitely is in play as the House and Senate budget negotiators begin their talks to finalize the new budget.

Oscar Doubling The Best Picture Nominees

Instead of five nominees for the Best Picture of the Year, there will now be ten.

This is not new.  In the 1930's and 1940's, the Academy often nominated 10 pictures. 

But then again, they had good reason to.  Consider the Best Picture nominees from 1939: "Gone With the Wind," which won, "The Wizard of Oz," "Stagecoach," "Wuthering Heights," "Love Affair," "Goodbye, Mr. Chips," "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington," "Of Mice and Men," "Dark Victory" and "Ninotchka."  All of them are classics today.

Oddly, the Academy came to this decision after looking at last year's films:

[Academy President Sid] Ganis said the board looked at last year's slate of films and decided there was room for more in the top category. "We nominated five, but there were many other great films last year," he said.

Really?  Last year's movies for the most part sucked, with the exception of the five nominees.

I think the Academy is trying to get a larger TV audience for its awards, so it is going to throw out bones to popular movies (like Batman: The Dark Knight) which won't ever win but which will draw audiences to the Oscar telecast.

The new rules start this coming year.

The Guy Who Wrote "You Light Up My Life" Is Finally Indicted

About time, too.  That song, written in 1977, is a crime which has gone unpunished for too long.

Wait, what?

Oh. My mistake. He was indicted on sex charges.  Date rape.

What Do You Think Of Autotune?

Autotuning is quite simple.  It can also be used to turn regular speech into music (with Cher-like effects if desired), like the guys who routine autotune the news of the day:

But more controversially, autotune involves the ability, through software, to correct one's singing pitch in real time.  With a software program which runs only a couple hundred dollars, a performer's voice is automatically and in real time tweaked to the correct pitch if it happens to be a little sharp or flat.  Without effects.  It can even add/remove vibrato -- live, in real time -- according to whatever parameters you preset.

And it's used.  In theaters (I'm looking at you, Jersey Boys).  In concerts (Beyonce, etc.)

Now, God knows I could certainly use it when performing.  But what about the professionals?  A cheat?

One side of the argument is that it's not much different than Milli Vanilli.  What you're hearing isn't real.

The other side of the argument is that you still are hearing the tone of the voice (Harvey Fierstein will still sound like Harvey Fierstein), and the singer can still sing, but you're hearing it at its best, since nobody can sing 7 shows a week with heavy chorerography.

What do you think?

Comic Of The Day: PacMan On Twitter

Artists Running Wall Street?

That's one someone thinks.  From the Community Arts Network:

A Proposed Job Swap To Save American Capitalism

By Liz Lerman

Do Wall Street executives deserve big bonuses during hard times? Does increased arts funding have a place in an economic stimulus package? I’ll leave it to others to debate these controversies. Meanwhile I’d like to make a modest proposal to solve some of our economic problems: Let’s do a job swap. We’ll put the corporate executives to work as artists while the artists run Wall Street.

Since their first task will be getting economic markets back on solid footing, I’m convinced that artists have the perfect resumès for their new jobs. Here’s why:

1. Artists work ridiculous hours for no pay. And most of the artists I know will keep working until they get the job done right.
2. Artists do not need fancy offices. In fact, they usually work in the worst part of town … until that part of town becomes fancy because the artists are there. Then they have to move because they haven’t paid themselves enough to afford the new rent.
3. Artists throw everything they earn back into the store – which is why they haven’t paid themselves enough. (I will admit that there was one time I didn’t do this. When I was awarded a MacArthur Fellowship back in 2002, I decided to open my first retirement account. I put the money in “very safe” stock market investments. I would have been better off putting it into my next dance.)
4. Artists do not need financial incentives. Artists do the work they do because they love it. Or because they believe in it. Or because they think it is a social necessity for our communities. Or because they know when people make poems or pictures or dances, our best human spirits emerge.
5. Artists do not expect to get anything if they do a bad job. Except maybe a bad review.
6. No artist gets a bonus because there is never enough money at the end of a project.
7. Artists keep very tight budgets. They know how to spend the same penny over and over (not by cooking the books, but by pinching, recycling, borrowing, bartering and plowing their economy-airline frequent-flyer miles back into the next project.)
8. Artists have a rightful reputation for fresh ideas combined with a capacity for self-evaluation that borders on recrimination.
9. Artists play well with others, having evolved highly efficient collaborative techniques in the service of their visions. But they are also very independent, delivering great things even when they work alone.

Meanwhile, in their new capacities as painters, poets, cellists and choreographers, our Wall Street executives might be experiencing a combination of culture shock therapy and ethical boot camp. Artistic practice may force them to discover what they really believe in, because the combination of introspection, discipline and craft that fuels an artist’s work (oh, and it is work) puts people in a very demanding state of truth. Doing what artists do every day, some might find themselves in overcrowded classrooms, excited to share their practices to help young people discover that they actually can learn. Others might be sparked to help communities solve problems by bridging differences through the unique power of their art forms. Those who have been lucky enough to get funded for their work will likely be staying up nights, filling out multiple forms to prove the exact use of the money they have been granted. All will find their moral compasses tested as they balance the demanding loyalties of pursuing personal vision and creating value for an audience.

The job swap I propose might have a final payoff: With artists in charge of Wall Street, you might even see people donate to the cause because artists know how to inspire others to participate together, to work for something that matters, to build on the intangibles of the human experience, to make a difference.

Imagine that kind of Wall Street.

Obviously not a serious idea.  If artists ran Wall Street, they would suck at it -- mainly because artists do what they do (at poor wages and work conditions) for love.  And most artists I suspect would not cozy up to balance sheets, audit reviews, and mid-range multivariable stategic planning oversight budget committee workshop... uh... things.

Also, it was innovation which got us into this mess.  Financial innovation.  Someone came up with the brilliant idea of creating these credit default swaps, which was a fancy way to make money off of bad mortgages.  "Creative" accounting, too, tends to get us in trouble (see Enron).

That said, it would make a good idea for a buddy-switch movie.  Nathan Lane and Harrison Ford are brothers; he's a flamboyant limpwristed stage director and he's a tightass Wall street exec.  And after both touching some rare Africant artifact, they switch bodies.... you know the rest.  Working title: Give my Regards To Wall Street

You Want To Cry?

Then read this.  Here, I'll start it for you:

Pixar grants girl's dying wish to see 'Up'

HUNTINGTON BEACH – Colby Curtin, a 10-year-old with a rare form of cancer, was staying alive for one thing – a movie.

From the minute Colby saw the previews to the Disney-Pixar movie Up, she was desperate to see it. Colby had been diagnosed with vascular cancer about three years ago, said her mother, Lisa Curtin, and at the beginning of this month it became apparent that she would die soon and was too ill to be moved to a theater to see the film.

After a family friend made frantic calls to Pixar to help grant Colby her dying wish, Pixar came to the rescue.

The company flew an employee with a DVD of Up, which is only in theaters, to the Curtins’ Huntington Beach home on June 10 for a private viewing of the movie.

The animated movie begins with scenes showing the evolution of a relationship between a husband and wife. After losing his wife in old age, the now grumpy man deals with his loss by attaching thousands of balloons to his house, flying into the sky, and going on an adventure with a little boy.

Colby died about seven hours after seeing the film.

Yeah, and keep reading the article.  The details will rip you up....

The New Broadway

In case you haven't heard, Broadway is now a pedestrian mall from 47th to 42nd Sts. and from 35th to 33rd Sts.

Which means Times Square looks like this now:

 

And this:

 

And this:

Beach chairs are the big thing right now.  NYC is going to decide at the end of the year whether to make it permanent.  Assuming they do, we'll probably start to see benches, etc.

Wikipedia Facts

When all of Wikipedia's "featured articles" are printed out, it looks like this:

 

That, I repeat, is only the featured articles -- the articles that the editors consider to be the best articles in terms of style, completeness, etc.

There are 2,545 featured articles on Wikipedia, out of a total of 2,916,034 articles in all.

Therefore, if you printed all the Wikipedia information into paper form, it would come out to about 1,150 of these monstrosities.

Take that, Enclyclopedia Brittanica.

Twitter Facts

From a Harvard Business School research study:

(1)  The median number of tweets over the course of a lifetime is.... ready for this?... one.  This translates to over half of Twitter users tweeting less than once every 74 days.  Yup.  In fact, 25% of all Twitter uses don't tweet at all (they just follow).

(2)  90% of all tweets come from only the top 10% most prolific users.  Whcih means 90% of all Twitter users account for only 10% of all tweets.

(3)  Men comprise 45% of all Twitter users; women are 55%.  But both men and women tweet the same amount (no significant difference).

(4)  Men and women roughly follow the same number of twitterers; but men get followed more often than women.  In fact, men have 15% more followers then women, even though there are less men on Twitter (see #3).

It should be noted that the data for the study came from May 2009.  There's been a Twitter explosion since then.  I'm not sure how much the underlying numbers have changd -- I suspect that #1 and #2 will be different now.

Cop From "The Village People" Comes Out Of The Closet: "I'm Heterosexual"

Not a parody.

His name is Victor Willis.  He was the cop of The Village People.

Not only does he say he is straight, but he adds that the lyrics to Village People song, YMCA, "were not meant to be innuendo about gay cruising but about hanging out with your straight buddies."

I have to admit... when the song came out (as well as Macho Man and In the Navy), I wasn't aware of any homosexual theme.  But I was in high school at the time.  Obviously, the gay community latched on to something about that song.

But let's give Willis his due and revisit the YMCA lyrics:

No man does it all by himself.
I said, young man, put your pride on the shelf,
And just go there, to the Y.M.C.A.
I'm sure they can help you today.

It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.
It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.

They have everything that you need to enjoy,
You can hang out with all the boys ...

It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.
It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A.

Uh, I'm going to have to go with "What is tres gay, Alex".  Sorry.  Especially when those lyrics are sung by the guys pictured above, it's gay. 

Whiny Les Miz Singing Lady Has Nervous Breakdown

Because she lost.

Obviously, I'm being sarcastic.  The whole thing is rather sad.

But not entirely unpredictable.  Fame is a hardship, and instantaneous worldwide fame destroys.  Going from a quiet anonymous life to life-under-the-fishbowl must be extremely straining. 

Here's hoping she gets well.  In fact, I hope Susan Boyle makes the decision to retire, thumbing her nose at the lucrative money she was sure to receive (even by coming in second place) from tours, records, etc.  It would be a long overdue slap in the face to our celebrity culture.